This past week I’ve been playing around with the idea of being nice to myself…. Crazy, I know 
What I mean by this, or at least what I thought this meant, is letting myself have an extra helping of dessert, an extra glass or three of whiskey, and stay up as late as I could keep my eyes open (I saw 4am for the first time in a long time). I was chasing pleasant experience. I thought, “You deserve it, mate. You’re working hard, bringing home the bacon. What’s a couple of hard starts between friends?”
In playing around with this particular perspective on being nice to myself, I let some other things slide: my balanced eating habits, my daily yoga practice, and waking up feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep. This had flow on effects: I felt heavier and slower, less focused, and a little grumpy (sorry Kimberly Rose).
The one thing I didn’t let slip was my work. In fact, I worked longer hours than normal last week. I wasn’t worried about getting to bed at a certain time so I didn’t stop working at dinner time to let my mind relax. I was in work hard, play hard mode. I remembered this feeling. I was Superman. I didn’t need rest. I could do it all.
Except…. even though I was working longer hours, I didn’t actually get the things done that needed to be done. Sure I did a ton of work but the most important work, the work that required thought and focus, was pushed aside for whatever was doable in my non-optimal state. My ‘worst-first’ mantra turned to ‘pick-the-low-hanging-fruit’ no matter what the quality.
So what am I learning?
- being nice to myself isn’t necessarily doing whatever feels good in the moment;
- that my inner competitor tells me that I’m a, “BLOODY WEAKY!”, for wanting to eat well, practice yoga, and go to bed early; and
- I can redefine ‘work hard, play hard’ to actually allow myself to work hard and play hard.
My new definition of ‘work hard, play hard’ is: look after yourself so you feel energized – you’ll be more efficient at work and have more fun with the people you love.
To achieve that, I’m going to say yes to my inner CEO and management team and no to my inner competitor. I’m going to keep practicing yoga 6 times per week, not drink alcohol Monday through Thursday, no work after 8pm, and be in bed by 10pm on weeknights, AND if I don’t, I will accept that I am only human 
What are you going to say yes to, and no to, in order to work hard, play hard?
Need some help figuring it out? Contact me for a free sample Jedi training/entrepreneur coaching session over the phone.
Also, check out my friend and colleague, Jim Dowling’s post – Twelve Twelve Tips for Change: Tip #3 – Worst First.
Be well, go well, and may the force be with you….
David
“I was Superman. I didn’t need rest. I could do it all.” As you may realise this is typical of what we hear from patients in the manic phase of BPAD. You know, the ‘I’m bullet-proof’ mentality. From what I have observed over the years, I think a disproportionate number of sales staff have a touch of mania, and as long as it is just a touch it probably adds to their creativity and productivity. More than a touch and they enter a state where they are running and thinking too fast, never sleeping and showing signs of disorganisation and decompensation, if not more problematic symptoms such as frank delusions of grandeur and the like.
These difficulities certainly go well beyond being a ‘workaholic’.
Cheers
Rob from Perth
I agree, Rob, sales staff and a lot of successful entrepreneurs. I think Steve Jobs had more than a touch of mania.
What’s important to me, in the end, is fulfillment. If that means keeping the manic phases in check and, perhaps, being less creative, then I’m all for it.
While I know I can, as a coach, help people to move towards balance, if the mania does becoming overwhelming, it’s important to refer to a therapist. I’m fortunate enough to have been raised by a psychologist who, for a large part of my childhood, was in a relationships with a psychiatrist. I understand the importance of their roles.
Thanks for the insightful comment.
Cheers,
Dave
Hi David. This is really neat stuff you’re doing. I think your name and your website and your blogs are inspiring. Coincidentally, I am doing something very similar at this time. I am seeing a life coach who is helping me become the best Holly I can be. It’s not therapy. It’s not trendy or esoteric. It’s just good, practical mind-altering looking at life and living from a different perspective! And it’s helping me a great deal. I think we’re on the same wave-length about self-care being the most grounding, life-changing habit of all. I am excited for you for this new direction you’re going in, and I wish you all the best in your new endeavours! my love and best to you and Kim. Holly
Thanks Holly. Great to hear you’re working with a coach!
I’m currently working with the amazing Marla Skibbins who, as well as life coaching, is teaching me about the Dharma. It was another coach, Jim Dowling, who helped me find my path towards coaching. Prior to Jim, I worked with an incredibly successful entrepreneur and coach, Greg Seigele, who helped me focus and be on purpose when negotiating large deals for my music technology business. Coaching and being coached helps me bring my life into alignment with what’s truly important to me.
Much love to you to you and the family xo
Enjoying the reads David. This one hit at the right time – mostly the work hard but extra time spent does not equal quality!
Thanks Dan! There’s been some great posts floating around on the subject lately:
http://mashable.com/2012/04/05/sheryl-sandberg-leaves-work-at-530/
http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/stop-working-more-than-40-hours-a-week.html
Be well, go well.