I’ve been feeling fear arising more than usual lately. Fear around money. Fear of not having enough.
Before I left my full-time role at Roar Engine, I diligently calculated how much money I needed to make, how much I really needed, to pay the bills. I stopped working full-time at Roar to pursue coaching full-time on Jan 31 this year and in March I hit my minimum monthly earning figure, just from my coaching business.
So, I hear you ask, why are you feeling fear around not having enough money?
Kimberly Rose, my wife, is pregnant. We’re having a baby. And this has got me to thinking about the future.
There are so many what ifs in my head right now, swirling scenarios, Tasmanian Devils spinning round and round in my head.
So what to do? Let’s start by asking the Master. Master Yoda that is:
YODA: Careful you must be when sensing the future, Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.
ANAKIN: I won’t let my visions come true, Master Yoda.
YODA: Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.
ANAKIN: What must I do, Master?
YODA: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
Thanks Master Yoda. How the frack (yes I’m also a BSG nerd) do I do that?
YODA: Break it down for you I will….
1. Notice (aka get curious about) what’s actually going on
I’ll start intellectually, with all those swirling thoughts. I’ve started counting all the money I’m losing. Here’s how that goes: I was earning x, now I’m earning y, so I’m losing x-y=z dollars per month. It’s been 4 months since I left my job so I’ve lost $4z. That’s $4z I’m not going to be able to spend on my family. There’s the future and the fear. Fear is arising because I am thinking about potential future unpleasantness around not having enough money for my child.
Next emotionally. What am I actually feeling? Name it. I am feeling fear.
Now physically, get clear about the actual sensation of feeling fear. I feel a sickening, constricting sensation in my belly that’s making my breathing shallow. The short breaths are combined with a faster heartbeat. There’s also a buzzing sensation up the back of my neck. I can name that the ‘fight or flight’ sensation.
2. Don’t fight your feelings, get present to them
Being in aversion to how I’m feeling just makes things worse. The feelings are there. If I use up my energy fighting the fact that I feel fear, I can’t let it go. It’s okay to feel fear. I am not a robot. When I can be with the fact that I’m feeling fear I can process it, move through it.
3. Don’t identify yourself as your feelings
Part of fighting my feelings is my ego getting in the way. It says: I am my fear – being afraid is bad/weak – how can i be an entrepreneur coach and be afraid of not having money? We are not our feelings. Feelings arise in us and they pass. See above: I am not a robot.
4. Take responsibility
Being a victim to my emotions doesn’t help anyone. So I recognize that I have the power to choose my perspective on money. I recognize that I choose the action that I take and how I am in relation to money from the perspective I’m in. This removes any sense that I am a victim to my fear.
5. Get clear about what’s important
From this place I can get clear about what I want in the situation. What does having enough actually look like and what steps can I take to take to get it? The funny thing about this is that I realize that I have enough right now. And I do want more. It’s important to me to provide my child with a good education and good healthcare (neither of which are cheap in here the US). It’s also important to me that I model doing work that I love for my child. I am doing what I love so I simply ask what it’s going to cost for school and healthcare? I do the math and set clear earnings goals for my business.
6. Make a decision and commit to that decision
Now I decide what to do about achieving my vision and who I need to be to achieve it then commit to it. A big part of commitment is setting up accountability and I do that with my coach.
7. Take action
I already have a business plan, including sales and marketing that I’m doing that is growing my individual coaching business, Jedi Trainers, and UGaWo, The Ultimate Game of Work, my team coaching business.
Just typing this, right now, there are no more Tassie Devils in my head. The fear is gone 🙂 🙂